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Ask Ana-Moly: “As A Bard, Is It Too Late For Me And My Lute?”

Published on February 10th, 2020 | Updated on March 1st, 2020 | By FanFest

Ever wonder what your favorite characters do offscreen when they don’t know what to do? They Ask Ana-Moly, of course! The advice-giver to galaxies both near and far, Ana-Moly is crash-landing on every Monday, doling out advice to some of the multiverse’s biggest quandaries.
Dear Ana-Moly,

How does one avoid becoming obsolete? I find myself in a creative rut recently. As a bard, my voice is my meal ticket, but no one wants to hear the same tired songs over and over again. At least, that’s what I’ve surmised from the last 50 taverns that I’ve been thrown out of. I need something new, something fresh, something so catchy that it will permeate pop culture for decades to come.

But where exactly does one find such inspiration? I’ve been in halls both great and low, gone on daring adventures, witnessed miraculous occurrences, and even defied death a time or two. I’ve laughed, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, (definitely done more of the latter than either of the former). Alas, none of these experiences have given me anything more than a few pleasant chords or a line or two of lyrics.

How do I find my muse once again? Do I continue with the adventuring, hoping that inspiration strikes before literal lightning does? Will there ever be another meteoric rise to fame for me, or am I destined to fade away into obscurity, one poorly-thrown baguette at a time?

Dully Noted


Dear Dully Noted,

I appreciate your frustration. It’s like, once you’ve tossed a coin into the well of inspiration and been paid out, what’s left? It’s easy to feel like you’re destined to be a bored bard for the rest of your days, but you can’t let a creative slump define you. You have to get back on the horse.

Sure, it may sometimes feel like the horse is in some weird nexus above you, or that the horse has inexplicably sunken into solid ground, but all of this can be fixed with a simple restart. Take a deep breath, take a good look around, and be glad that at least you’re not stuck in an endless series of fetch quests and side missions.

There is other good news too. Remix collaborations are very hot right now. Below I’ve put some suggestions for other bards that you may want to work with.

  • Billie Eilish. It’s a well-known fact that a bard must be at least 75% angst to be successful. Luckily, as a 19-year-old, Eilish is at least 120% angst. She’s perfect for bringing down your entire mood. Of your songs, that is.
  • Taylor Swift. If you’re looking for something more upbeat but still semi-threatening lyrically, Swift is the one for you. No one destroys reputations via song like her, and certainly not in such a catchy manner.
  • Lil Nas X. The lute is fine and all, but have you heard of a drum machine? Plus, his Twitter feed alone has proven that he’s more than willing to collab with ANYONE. I’m not saying you’ll get the next “Old Town Road,” out of these, but maybe you’ll be able to purchase your own cowboy hat from Gucci.
With the Stars,


P.S.- Please note, if you use any of these collaboration suggestions, 25% of all royalties are due to me. Call it a quest reward.


Did you miss last week’s column? Check it out here:

Ask Ana-Moly: “Red Just Isn’t My Color”


For more even more “Ask Ana-Moly,” check out the archives:

Ask Ana-Moly: “I’m An Intergalactic Freelancer- How Do I Protect My Work?”

Ask Ana-Moly: “The Symbiote Kissed Me First!”

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