It’s wedding day at the Hotel Cortez and the Countess wants you, me, and Will Drake to know that she’s no show pony. Rather than opting for a wedding extravaganza, the Countess convinces Will to have a small and intimate ceremony that’s just for the two of them. Doing so gives her the perfect opportunity to him out of the picture as soon as they’ve exchanged vows without any witnesses.
It also frees up her schedule so she can scour the town for Valentino, who she now knows was trapped in the Cortez for nearly a century. When she finally finds him, the Countess unleashes a mixture of tears, passion, and anger that sets the scene for what’s to come: sex, blood, death, and revenge. You know, typical AHS fare.
Speaking of sex, the Countess and Donovan are back at it again. It’s a bizarre twist given that Donovan is in cahoots with Iris and Ramona. But as we soon see, “Dono” is more loyal to his lady than he is to his mother (and Ramona). In truth, Donovan was never really on Ramona’s side; he merely agreed to the situation in order to help The Countess escape Ramona’s impending revenge. Unfortunately for Ramona, that means she’s in trouble. The Countess and Donovan lock her away in the very chamber that once held Valentino and Natacha. Will Drake is thrown in there as well and tries his best to fee Ramona from her shackles. But being the unsuspecting human that he is, he soon becomes Ramona’s next meal. Poor guy.
One thing that stuck with me from this episode was Gaga’s performance and not in a good way. She seemed less convincing this round than she had in previous episodes. And I was completely thrown off by her changing accent. She goes from American to British to some strange mixture of the two that I don’t really get. It threw me for a loop and took me out of the story. I had to take a few seconds to refocus and ignore the sounds coming out of her mouth, which is an unfortunate experience for a viewer if I’m being honest. Is anyone else out uncomfortable with this kind of inconsistency?
Another thing that struck me was that even Will Drake refers to The Countess as ‘The Countess.’ I mean, doesn’t it seem weird to him that she doesn’t have an actual name? Do we even know her name? I suppose not, but it’s interesting all the same.
Tara Martinez is a New York-based writer with a passion for pop culture and a penchant for analysis. She frequently covers film, television, and representations of women in the media.