Geeklings, this is most excited/nervous I’ve been for an episode of Game of Thrones all season. I’m not even talking about the leaks, I went all week avoiding them, I’m talking about what’s about to happen. On a personal level, I have always been infatuated with the White Walkers and what they’re doing beyond the Wall, and the show has devised a structure that highlights how important this story is by only giving them one episode per season to shine. Think about all the times we’ve seen the White Walkers as of late. Episodes like “Hardhome” and “The Door” are some of the shows best as they tease the potential threat that this undead army carries. Now here we are in season seven with the threat of the White Walkers and the Night King very real and we are about to go beyond the Wall for the first time this season. Hell, it’s the first time we’ve gone beyond the Wall in quite some time. Jon Snow has devised a plan to take the fight to the White Walkers, and while it gave us that badass image of the Magnificent Seven heading off into the snow mist, I think we can all agree here, this is a pretty terrible plan. Like one of those epically terrible plans. I’m talking about drunk texting your ex at four o’clock in the morning levels of terrible plans.
I admire their courage though. The idea of capturing a White Walker and bringing it back to Kings Landing, to convince Cersei and her lack of imagination, sounds really good on paper, but what are we really thinking here? How can seven men, albeit seven of the shows biggest badasses, hope to survive the onslaught of the White Walker army? It’s not like they can just stealthily sneak into their camp, steal a White Walker, and make a run for it. It’s not like the White Walkers have scouts or need to rest. They’re dead, people. They can march and attack forever without getting tired. How do seven men stand a chance against that? Even if one of those men is Tormund Giantsbane.
I would actually like to take this moment to plead to both the creators of Game of Thrones and HBO to please, please, please not kill Tormund. I don’t think my heart could take it. I mean, he still hasn’t been able to give his heart to the “big woman”. I’m not entirely sure when it happened, maybe after he beat the Lord of Bones to death with a stick or his use of colorful language, but Tormund has become one of my favorite secondary characters. I just bought his pop vinyl figure. The Seven can’t be this cruel, can they? I’m not a fool, I know if this episode is going to be impactful then we’re going to lose some beloved characters. I just want to be selfish here and say don’t let it be Tormund. I think we’ll need him for season eight for the Great War. Jon Snow and the rest of Westeros are going to need that Wildling presence. Right?…Right?
Even if the Gods see it fit to save Tormund it doesn’t mean that everyone else will be safe. In fact, I’m thinking that three out of the seven won’t be returning to Westeros when this episode ends, and that gets the wheels turning. Who is expendable here? Whose death would sting and add gravity to the episode but not really tip the applecart? Let’s just take Jon Snow off the table right now because there’s no way that he’s dying. Not a chance. Let’s throw in the Hound and Gendry in that role as well. The Hound still needs to battle his brother, the undead Mountain, and Gendry… I’m not really sure what the future holds for him but it isn’t a death beyond the Wall. That leaves us with four characters. We’ve got Jorah, Thoros, Beric Dondarrion, and Tormund. Let’s take Tormund out of the equation because clearly, HBO will listen to my plea, which leaves us with Thoros, Beric Dondarrion, and Jorah. I can live with those deaths. Thoros is completely expendable as he makes for a cool character but there’s no real emotional attachment. Beric Dondarrion will have his epic fire sword moment and it will melt faces but it will ultimately result in an epic death. One of those deaths where the audience appreciates the character more. That leaves Jorah Mormont in the impactful “dear God that stings” death. If you recall, I mentioned in my last episode review, that my girlfriend believes that Jorah will be the White Walker that gets taken to Kings Landing and I can’t help but agree with her. It just reeks of heartbreak and allows for Jorah to play a pivotal/redeeming role in possibly saving the Seven Kingdoms. I will mourn him.
Bold prediction time. I’m hoping that the Night King and Jon Snow have a one on one showdown. Clearly, the Night King knows who Jon Snow is and feels that he’s the leader of the charge. How great would it be to finally see him in action? A one on one sword fight between our hero and our ultimate villain. I want this show down to happen soooooooo badly. Almost as badly as I want to hear the Night King talk. What would that be like?! I don’t know but I’m picturing the sound of it to make my skin want to vomit.
Bold prediction number two. Daenerys comes to save the day. I’ve just got a feeling that the Mother of Dragons is going to be at Dragonstone feeling useless and pining for her boo, Jon Snow, and will mount a dragon and head beyond the Wall. Part of it is to see for herself this army of the undead and part of it is to make sure that Jon is safe. Come on, tell me you don’t want to see a dragon come out and lay waste to some of the White Walker army.
The suicide trip of the Magnificent Seven isn’t the only thing happening this episode as Winterfell looks to have some sister drama in the works. Littlefinger is looking to turn Arya against Sansa in the hopes of isolating Sansa from the rest of the family. Which means Creepyfinger will swoop in to be a shoulder to cry on and get into Sansa’s ear. But Geeklings, what if Arya is still playing Littlefinger? Granted, she hasn’t dealt with this level of mischief before but Arya has come a long way since chasing cats. Perhaps she knows that Littlefinger is goading her into something and is using that as an opportunity to expose him. Things to think about.
There you have it Geeklings. Episode six has the potential to be our episode nine of previous seasons. You know the nine spot, that’s where things like the Red Wedding and Black Water Bay went down. I’m going to give the floor over to you. Who do you think is living? Who do you think is dying? Will Dany swoop in the save the day? Is Arya playing Littlefinger? Sound off in the comments below. As always, if you’d like to talk more Thrones you can find me on Twitter @iamgeek32. I’ll see everyone tomorrow with my review. Be sure to take a deep breath and death grip your arm chair or a pillow as I think tonight is going to be a little tense.
Images and trailer from HBO